Making the choice to become a parent is both exhilarating and overwhelming – and it’s fair to say, there’s rarely a perfect time to make that lifechanging commitment.
Whether you're currently expecting your first child or adding a new member to your family, preparing for pregnancy, childbirth, and the early stages of parenthood is crucial, and whilst there are lots of parenting guides, this short 'how-to' aims to keep it simple and easy to follow.
So, assuming you’ve selected the right partner to mate with…you’ve reduced your alcohol intake, stopped smoking and recreational drug use, consumed your last soft-cheese for the next 12 months – congratulations, you’re probably now thinking “what next?” and "how long before I get a craving for gherkins and ice-cream?".
Pregnancy: What to Expect
Prenatal Care:
Choose a Healthcare Provider: Early in your pregnancy, select a healthcare provider who aligns with your birth preferences and values. This could be an obstetrician, a family doctor, or midwife.
Regular Check-ups: Schedule regular prenatal visits to monitor the health of both you and your baby. These visits typically include ultrasounds, blood tests, and routine screenings to ensure everything is progressing well.
This will also be the period when you’re considering the announcement – whether a gender reveal party, a social media post, a family dinner or something more discreet – whatever your choice, think about the exposure and energy that will follow and how you want to manage this celebrity status so you can remain in control of your physical and emotional well-being.
Nutrition and Exercise:
Balanced Diet: Aim for a diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins. Essential nutrients include folic acid (to prevent neural tube defects), iron, calcium, and omega-3 fatty acids. Consult your medical professional for advice specific to your needs.
Stay Active: Regular exercise, such as walking or prenatal yoga, can alleviate common pregnancy discomforts, improve mood, and prepare your body for childbirth. Always consult your doctor before starting any new exercise regimen and if possible, include your partner as both support for you and to keep them active too.
Preparing for Birth:
Childbirth Education: If you can, enrol in childbirth classes to understand the labour process, pain management options, and the role of your birthing partner. Popular methods include Lamaze birthing which focuses on breathing techniques and the Bradley Method which requires deep and complete relaxation and abdominal breathing; quiet, darkness and solitude; physical comfort; and closed eyes and the appearance of sleep. The method relies heavily on training fathers to be labour "coaches" or partners. Both methods can be discussed with your healthcare professional.
Birth Plan: While flexibility is key, creating a birth plan helps communicate your preferences for labour and delivery. Discuss this with your healthcare provider to ensure alignment with medical protocols.
Home Prep: This can be super fun! Your nursery planning, the baby shower, the colour choices, the types of toys, clothing and baby accessories you select are all really important choices. When it comes to these choices, sharing your preferences with friends and family will help you curate the perfect environment for your new-born. Selecting clothing from a brand like Baby Todd & Co. ensures you build a wardrobe of soft, comfortable, versatile, allergy resistant baby clothes which are completely ‘tagless’, eliminating discomfort and ensuring your baby isn’t irritated by those annoying internal labels found on other baby clothes.
Mental Health:
Emotional Support: Pregnancy can bring a range of emotions. Maintaining open communication with your partner and considering joining support groups or seeking proactive counselling may improve the pregnancy experience for both parents and create an even stronger bond during such an emotionally charged time.
Self-Care: Prioritise rest and relaxation. Incorporate activities that help you unwind and enjoy this special time. It may feel like the world is spinning at a million miles an hour but carving out time to meditate, take a bath, a short walk or reading a book may end up being the most regenerative part of your day.
Childbirth: What to Expect
Labour and Delivery:
Stages of Labour: Familiarise yourself with the three stages of labour: early labour (cervical dilation and contractions), active labour (intensifying contractions and nearing full dilation), and delivery (pushing and birth of the baby). Each require a different response and your awareness of how each phase develops will enable you to stay in control and respond positively to each change.
Pain Management: Options range from natural methods (breathing techniques, water immersion) to medical interventions (epidurals, pain medications). Discuss these options with your provider in advance – being as prepared as possible will reduce the chance of you missing the timing window for your preferred pain management method.
Hospital or Home Birth:
Hospital Birth: Ensure you understand the hospital’s policies regarding labour, delivery, and postpartum care. Pack a hospital bag with essentials for you and your baby during your third trimester so you avoid being caught out. Keeping the bag close to the front door of your home may help you in the event of an emergency.
Home Birth: If choosing a home birth, ensure you have a qualified midwife and appropriate emergency plans in place. Prepare your home environment for a safe and comfortable birth. There are resources available from your home-birthing team to ensure you feel comfortable with your choice.
Postpartum Care:
Recovery: Postpartum recovery includes physical and emotional healing. You may experience fatigue, hormonal changes, and potential complications. Follow up with your healthcare provider for postpartum check-ups and ensure your partner is familiar with the changes that you may experience after child-birth so they can be as supportive as possible.
Support System: Lean on your support system, including family, friends, and professional services. Don’t hesitate to ask for help with household tasks and baby care. Reducing your own anxiety or stress will have a positive impact on the well-being and response from your new-born as they often mimic your energy.
Early Stages of Parenthood: What to Expect
Newborn Care:
Feeding: Newborns typically feed every 2-3 hours. Whether breastfeeding or formula-feeding, ensure you’re informed about proper techniques and feeding schedules.
Sleep Patterns: Newborns sleep about 16-17 hours a day, often in short bursts. Establish a sleep routine and create a safe sleep environment to reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). One common recommendation for new parents is for the mum to try and sleep every time the new born sleeps – this is not the time to catch up on vacuuming the house.
Bonding and Development:
Attachment: Spend quality time with your baby through skin-to-skin contact, talking, and soothing. This strengthens your bond and supports emotional development. Remember, this is just as important for the father as it is for the new mum.
Developmental Milestones: Track your baby’s growth and developmental milestones. Paediatricians typically monitor these during routine check-ups. One of our favourite development milestone charts is the Early Years Learning Framework Practice Based Resources - Developmental Milestones produced by the Australian Government through the Department of Education, Employment and Workplace Relations. A copy of the framework may be found HERE.
In an upcoming article, we will focus in more detail on developmental milestones.
Parental Well-being:
Self-Care: Taking care of yourself is essential. Prioritise sleep, nutrition, and personal time to recharge. Seeking support from a partner, family, or parenting groups can alleviate stress.
Mental Health: Postpartum depression and anxiety are common. Watch for signs like persistent sadness, excessive worry, or difficulty bonding with your baby. Reach out to a mental health professional if you have concerns and wherever possible seek support from your partner.
Resources and Support:
Parenting Classes: Consider classes on newborn care, CPR, and first aid. Many community centres and hospitals offer these resources. Once the newborn is a little older, water-safety is another opportunity to both bond and explore a new development environment.
Online Communities: Join online parenting forums or social media groups for advice, shared experiences, and support.
Adjusting to Parenthood:
Communication: Keep the lines of communication open with your partner. Discuss your feelings, share responsibilities, and support each other through the challenges of new parenthood.
Flexibility: Embrace flexibility as you adapt to your baby’s needs and your evolving role as a parent. It's normal to face challenges, and learning as you go is part of the journey. One of our favourite pieces of advice was that ‘a baby needs to fit in with the family routine, not the other way around’. Which is easier said than done, but true nonetheless. In order to avoid a feeling of regret or inadequacy, don’t give up your sense of personal identity just because you’re now a parent. Being a mum doesn’t mean giving up all the things that make you, you.
By arming yourself with knowledge and seeking support, you can navigate the transition to parenthood more smoothly. Remember that every family’s journey is unique, and trusting your instincts while staying informed will guide you through this transformative time.
All the very best as you take on this wonderful experience.
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